how leadership was transferred to me
Mentorship is a critical component of growth. It is not imperative, but without it, progress is limited and slow at best. There are three distinct types of mentorship. We have what I would call “formal in-person mentorship,” meaning a mentor works with you in person. “Formal distance mentorship” has become quite popular partly due to the pandemic where so many people have found an opportunity to work online or conduct business virtually. Then there is “informal mentorship,” wherein we can be mentored through audio or physical books or through presentations/workshops delivered to multiple people.
I am a product of formal in-person mentorship. I began coaching in my mid-twenties, and I was very fortunate and lucky to have a mentor at that time. The club that I was working at had a full time Technical Director (Tom), and he was one of very few TDs in our city at that time. Tom saw something in me, and others, and invested his time to support me and my journey.
Tom saw I had a passion for soccer. I really understood the sport as a player but had no idea how to transfer what I know into a way that would be helpful and impactful for leading and coaching players. Over the course of several years, I formed an incredible relationship with Tom and credit him directly for providing me with the opportunity to learn, grow and progress in my coaching and leadership.
Having someone that believed in me and also challenged me at an early starting point was pivotal for me to see a possibility for myself not as someone who would go on to work fulltime in the game for the best part of two decades but more to improve and provide players with the opportunity to learn and get better. It was at this early starting point that I began to realize what I would come to understand as Transferrable Leadership.
In the simplest way Transferrable leadership is our ability to understand what is required and having the ability to lead ourselves and others to then, in turn, provide a platform and support for others to go and lead in a way that makes sense for them while supporting them along the way. I remember my early interactions with Tom when I would be running a training session, when I look back on this time, I see how he was using transferrable leadership to allow me to grow. He would watch me coach my session (which at first freaked me out!!), and then we would chat after about how it went. Tom never came in, charged with explanations of what I should have done with this or that situation and correcting my mistakes, which in my early coaching journey I am sure were many!! He instead asked me open-ended questions and probed into what I did, why I did it and how I saw a way to improve. He allowed me to find solutions while guiding me along the way
I am the coach and leader today as a result of having someone who cared enough to take the time to invest in me and provide an opportunity for me to learn and grow. Simultaneously, it was up to me to make the conscious decision to get better, receive the feedback, and make tweaks to how I was leading so I could improve. Mentorship is great, and it is a two way street: You can have the greatest mentor in the world, but it will not mean anything if you are not open to what they are offering you as a way to be the best leader you can be.
Our mentors tend to be humble people and most often, whether they are formal or informal, have no idea the impact they have made in our lives. One of the most incredible honors I had along the way was after I had been working with Tom for several years, he said to me one day, “Dave, you are going to go on and progress so much in the game and go way beyond me. When that time is right, I will step aside as TD of our club, and you will take us forward.” I was amazed that he would have such belief in me. It turns out I left the club years later, but true to his word, when he was ready to step aside, he recommended me for his job. To this day, that is an incredible honor to have received from the man I look up to saying to me, “You are ready!”
When Tom got married years later, I was able to attend his wedding and tell him the impact and difference he made in my life. In typical Tom fashion, he downplayed his impact as just doing what he does. A humble and impactful leader does not need accolades but sees their body of work in others after they have transferred leadership.
